Sunday Morning Thought

Happy Sunday Morning!!

I’m sitting here in my bed thinking about the things of this week and trying to make some headway in writing. I’m attending a conference in Austin this week so maybe while I’m get to catch up on some of the writing I’ve been putting off.
I wanted to bring up something that came to mind over the weekend. I have someone very close to me be diagnosed with Autism. Well, you know that I have an autistic son who is fairing very well. Thought this child’s mother is not. And I can really understand. At the time my son was diagnosed, I was dealing with a failing marriage, a job that took up the majority of my time, and there was no way out for me that I can think of. Emotionally, I was a wreck and the only thing I could think of was how in the hell was I going to help my son when I can’t even see myself out of the mess my life was in. To top that off, my other son has ADHD and the time I was having with his school was driving me practically insane (another tale for another day)
I cried like a boo-hooing fool. I didn’t know about the functions of Autism or whether or not my son was ever going to get around the screaming for no apparent reason or t he fits of frustrated rage that followed. And like I said, at the time my marriage was circling the drain so there was little to no help coming from my husband.
And that brings me to my point. There are times that things become so overwhelming that there is no way to see around them. Sometimes the circumstances in our lives impact the things that we do and we are powerless to stop them. But, with that being said, we can certainly work around them.
Autism is a distressing disorder not only to the parents, but to the little ones it effects also. It takes patience and consistency in order to working around some things. If you want to work on a way to communicate with your little one instead of letting him scream (they’re going to do this anyway so get ready), then there are many methods of communication available that have already been developed for other things. Sign Language had been around for years, but it’s not only for people hard of hearing. Some autistic children use this as a way to say that something hurts or is uncomfortable or even for something that they want. Computer use is on the rise with autistic children and the way they can communicate.
And also there is old fashion talking. I chose this method. I knew my son could talk. In my theory if he could vocalize then he could talk. Of course he could scream, that we knew on a constant basis, but if I wanted him to talk I had to work extra hard and be extra patient with him. It wasn’t going to happen overnight. I also noticed his level of input/output of information (sorry he’s not a computer but this is the best term that I could put it in). As far as input wise he is on point. It might not seem like he takes in information, but a few hours later he is mimicking exactly what I just taught him. That shows me that he has cognitive capabilities. As for the output, well he is far behind. When I started, he could only tell me ‘more’ and ‘finished’ in sign language. That was a start. From there we worked on potty training talk, and then food. I constantly talked to my son, making sure he heard language since I wanted him to talk.
This was not easy, and often added in a lot of frustration, redirecting, and heartache when no one else saw the progress I did. Three years later, and my son is talking. He’s still behind as if right now he speaks like a 2 year old. He now asks for things and asks for people. As a mom, I think it’s wonderful and I’m constantly pulling him next to me to hear him talk or say anything (he has such a deep voice).
I’ve come to realize that he is no different than my other children, and then again he is. Devon still gets in trouble, is very mischievous, extremely giggly and happy child, who enjoyed his 5th birthday this year and surprised me by telling me how old he is (I’m still excited). He knows good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior has its consequences. He’s extremely smart and constantly pushing that bar that was given to him three years ago at his first diagnosis. I am extremely proud of him as any mother could be of his progress and want to see so much more for him as he grows.
I haven’t been talking because I feel the need to write. I want to encourage those who are at the low point to keep going. There are certain things that should help make working with your child better.
· Be consistent: It’s hard and repetitive things get on my nerves, but if it helps my child anything will work.
· Be patient: There are times when you just want him to spit it out, but it ain’t gonna happen overnight and not if you’re yelling down his throat. Take a minute to calm down. If you’re calm, he’s calm and the screaming will stop in a minute.
· REDIRECT: By all means find something that you know will hold his attention for a minute to get him to calm down.
· Remind and Remember: Remind him constantly of how to talk or what to do. Remembering to always do so will help him to constantly keep on track.
· Reward good behavior discourage bad behavior: Even autistic kids get in trouble and break things or even terrorizing brother and sister with sticky booger fingers (true story). Good behavior gets the fun stuff, bad behavior gets the serious consequences. Remind him that bad behavior will not be tolerated.
· Develop a different style: Not all styles work for every parent. Developing your own style coping and working through the tough spots.
· Make it fun: Immortalize every smile, every giggle, every kiss on the cheek, every hug. Making it fun for them well make it a lot easier for you. TRUST ME!!!

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at leahvaugn06@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you.

Leah V.